taking care of yourself after a death
Updated: Nov 26, 2021
Grief doesn't begin - or end - at a funeral. And the so-called 'five stages of grief' aren't an orderly procession; they're more like a pick-and-mix on any given day. Maybe you've already started to realise this, allowing yourself simply to feel whatever you feel, as and when you feel it. But how can you do that whilst coping with normal life?
Here are some tips from people in the know.
Crying - don't beat yourself up over doing it a lot, or not at all. There are no rules except not to work hard to conceal your feelings. That won't help in the long run.
Friends - many will, but some might not handle your loss well. Much will depend on their own experiences and how they coped (or not), so try not to judge too harshly. If you need more support, find new companions who understand. If you can't get out, there are lots of support groups online, many for particular identities such as www.widowedandyoung.org.uk
Counselling - numerous studies reveal its benefits. There's nothing weird about it: it's just a chance to talk and unravel your own feelings with the help of someone who will not judge you. If you've never tried it, now's the time. But if that's really not your thing, or costs are prohibitive, try writing. Ordering your thoughts on a page can be deeply helpful. Try it.
Exercise - yes, you've heard it before; but you'll be amazed at how much better it makes you feel. Get out and take a walk, and while you do, look up at the sky...
Help - ask for it. People love a job at a time of crisis.